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What Brought us to C.A.
Some of us hit a physical bottom. It may
have been anything from a nosebleed which frightened us, to sexual
impotence, to loss of sensation in or temporary paralysis of a limb, to a
loss of consciousness and a trip to an emergency room, to a cocaine-induced
stroke that left us disabled. Maybe it was finally our gaunt reflection in
the mirror.
Others of
us hit an emotional or spiritual bottom. The good times were gone, the coke
life was over. No matter how much we used, we never again achieved elation,
only a temporary release from the depression of coming down, and often, not
even that. We suffered violent mood swings. Perhaps we awoke to our
predicament after threatening or actually harming a loved one, desperately
demanding imagined hidden money. We were overcome by feelings of alienation
from friends, loved ones, parents, children, society, from the sky, from
everything wholesome. Even the dealer we thought was our friend turned into
a stranger when we went to him without money. Perhaps we awoke in dread of
the isolation we had created for ourselves; using alone, suffocated by our
self-centered fear and our paranoia. We were spiritually and emotionally
deadened. Perhaps we thought of suicide, or tried it.
Stilt
others of us reached a different sort of bottom when our spending and lying
cost us our jobs, credit, and possessions. Some of us reached the point
that we couldn't even deal; we consumed everything we touched before we
could sell it.
We simply
could no longer afford to use. Sometimes the law intervened.
Most of
us were brought down by a medley of financial physical, social, and
spiritual problems.
When we
found Cocaine Anonymous, we learned that cocaine addiction is a progressive
disease, chronic and potentially fatal. It fit our own experience when we
heard that, contrary to popular myths about cocaine, it is possibly the
most addictive substance known to man. We were relieved to be told that
addiction is not simply a moral problem, that it is a true disease over
which the will alone is usually powerless. All the same, each of us must
take responsibility for our own recovery. There is no secret, no magic. We
each have to quit and stay sober; but we don't have to do it alone!
back to
the Library Approved Literature .
Cocaine Anonymous World Services, Inc. Copyright 2000
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