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Why
Sponsorship?
By
this time you may have gone to meetings and heard lots of talk about
working
the Steps, a power greater than ourselves and getting a sponsor. You may
also
have become aware that Cocaine Anonymous is based on the Twelve Steps of
Recovery. But, if you're like many of us were, you're not sure what is
meant by
working the Steps, finding a Higher Power or getting a sponsor.
Many of us would not have been able to stay clean and sober were it not for
the
special one-to-one relationships with our sponsors.
C.A.
may at first seem unfamiliar. During the early days of sobriety, it's a
good
idea to get a sponsor. At first, you might have a lot of questions and
concerns,
and a sponsor can devote more time to your individual questions than
regular
meetings allow. Sponsors can introduce you to other people at meetings. It
might
help you feel more comfortable at meetings to be with someone who knows his
or her way around.
Although people at meetings respond to our questions willingly, that alone
isn't
enough. Many other questions occur to us between meetings; many of us find
that
we need constant, close support as we begin learning how to live sober.
What Is A Sponsor?
A sponsor is a clean and sober addict who shares with you how they
maintain their sobriety by working the Twelve Steps. The sponsor's
primary tools are his or her experience, strength and hope.
There are no specific rules, but a sponsor should probably be sober
for a year or more and be enjoying his or her new life as a result of the
Twelve Steps.
A sponsor was once a newcomer too, and has used the C.A.
program to
deal with problems similar to those the newcomer is now facing.
Sharing the lessons of what he or she has learned staying sober is what
a sponsor is all about. On a one-to-one basis, a sponsor can share his
or her experience, strength and hope in living a happy, joyous and
free life.
Sponsors are not professional counselors and are not certified to offer
legal,
psychiatric or medical advice. Nor is a sponsor someone upon whom we can
rely
to get us jobs, clothing or food. Sponsors have been down the rocky road
before
and often can suggest where you can obtain the professional help you might
need.
Do not hesitate to call your sponsor. It may be hard at first to pick up
the
phone-we do not find it easy to ask for help. But remember, a sponsor has
been
there and knows how you feel.
Finding A Sponsor
Some of the ways we have gotten to know people and found a sponsor are:
Listening to the feelings being shared at meetings.
Asking members of the fellowship for their phone numbers, then
actually calling and talking to them.
Going to coffee after meetings with other sober addicts.
Sharing at meetings.
Asking others to recommend someone as a sponsor.
When choosing a sponsor, remember that this does not have to be a lifelong
relationship. Many of us have had different sponsors at different times in
our
sobriety. Others have had the same sponsor since early sobriety. The point
is that
YOU must take the initiative and reach out.
A Discussion of Sponsorship
In C.A., experience has shown that it's best for men to sponsor men and
women
to sponsor women. This custom promotes quick understanding and reduces the
likelihood of emotional distractions, which might take the newcomer's mind
off
the purpose of Cocaine Anonymous.
At times, we may feel uncomfortable with what our sponsor suggests. But
remember sponsors have traveled the road before and are sharing their
experience with us to help us through difficult times.
Which sponsor is best for you? No one but you can answer that question.
Sponsors may share interests similar to yours, but may also be totally
different.
It's best to attend meetings and listen to what experienced individuals
have to say
about living the steps with strength and hope. Again, a sponsor only shares
his or
her experience, strength
and hope. By sharing our difficulties with our sponsor on a one-to-one
basis, it
makes day-to-day living a lot easier and our struggle less lonely.
Remember, sponsors have lives outside C.A. They have families, jobs
and
other responsibilities. Although a sponsor will do whatever he or she can
to help
you maintain your sobriety, there will be times when a sponsor is truly
unavailable. So what are we to do? Check listings for the next C.A. meeting,
read the steps and literature, contact the local C.A. office, or pull out those
telephone numbers of other recovering addicts and call. Keep an active
telephone
list of recovering addicts with you and above all CALL. Your call will be
helping
the other person as much as it helps you. Other recovering addicts know
what
you are experiencing and will sincerely help you through the rough times.
But
before you can get help, you have to reach out and ask for it. It's there,
ready
and willing to be shared.
A person may have more than one sponsor. Someone with two or more
sponsors has a wider range of experience available to him or her. Others,
however, feel that having only one sponsor promotes a more focused approach
to the C.A.
program.
It is never too late to get a sponsor. Whether you are a newcomer hesitant
about "bothering" someone, or a member who has been around for
some time
trying to go it alone, sponsorship is yours for the asking. We urge you: DO
NOT
DELAY. We in C.A.
want to share what we have learned with other addicts
because experience has taught us that we keep what we have by giving it
away.
Most members of Cocaine Anonymous owe their sobriety to the fact that
someone else took a special interest in them and was willing to share a
great gift
with them. A C.A.
member often finds that getting a good sponsor, talking frankly
and listening can make the whole program open up as it never did before.
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